Wednesday, September 17, 2014

This just in:

Recent studies confirm that the guy you know from Downton Abbey

is also in most every other British TV show made in the past 15 years.  Stay tuned to this blog for further details on this developing story.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Games people play

"No daddy, I don't ever want to play the Adrian Peterson game anymore.  It hurts."

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Horrible asshole of the year

Yes, this bitch in Minnesota is wearing an Adrian Peterson jersey and she's brandishing a switch.  Yes, she's making fun of child abuse.  She thinks she's being funny.  

I'm sure she's outraged at Ray Rice but she's fine with a four year old kid getting whipped with a switch until he's got marks and bruises all over him.  Fuck her.

And fuck you too is you think it's okay to whip a four year old or any kid for that matter.  Domestic violence is perpetrated against children too.  And I should know.  The people who were supposed to be caring for and looking out for me whipped me with belts, their fists, pots and pans, and the lesson their children learned was it was okay for them to hit me and my siblings as well.  

Celebrities, even B grade ones, hate the internet

I got attacked by a B grade celebrity yesterday on Facebook.  I called her out on a 'joke' she made that equated all New York city postal employees with the terrorists in ISIS.  She didn't like being called out by someone who wasn't at least as famous as she was so she called me a fool and told me to fuck off.  She also tried to use the Joan Rivers "Oh calm down, it's just a joke!" defense and when I called her on that, she and her loyal minions really went off.

Before the internet she'd have gotten away with this kind of 'joke' and considered herself the height of wit, but today, since she posted that shit on Facebook, she's got to answer for making slurs against working people and she damn sure doesn't like it.  But I fucking love holding her and people like her responsible for their comments.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Mea Culpa

I was wrong.  Roger Godell does need to lose his job over this Ray Rice business.  Someone sent a tape of the incident to the NFL offices months ago.  It staggers the imagination to think Goodell didn't see it.  He's been clumsy and ham fisted during this whole situation.  No one outside of the mouth breathers who worship Rush the fat drug addict believes him.

He's got to go.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Likely ladies

 Girl most likely to be a MILF when she hits 45 years of age.

Girl most likely to teach Sunday school while going 'commando.'

 Girl most likely to break your windshield with a baseball bat if she finds out you cheated on her.

 Girl most likely to meet your gaze during an awkward moment at a swingers party.

 Girl most likely to be cheerful during a natural disaster.

 Girl most likely to own a kiln and two dozen cats.

Girl most likely to have a diabolical plan for world domination.

Girl most likely to give you a hand job while you both sit and enjoy the riparian view on a warm spring day but who will later regret said hand job when she marries a man who will become a Baptist minister.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

No, Canada

A Canadian tumor in Toronto announced today that it has a Rob Ford growing out of it.

Canadian doctors promised to put the tumor out of it's misery ASAP.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

It's time to check in with some of the folks who are perpetually outraged

"Damn you boy, I sense you're not outraged enough over this Ray Rice thing.  I demand that you call for his lifetime ban from ever working anywhere again and that you call for him to be horsewhipped every time he shows his face in public for the rest of his life!"
 "Come bird friend, let me feed you more so that you can go shit upon all those illegal Mexicans who are streaming in to the USA to steal those fruit picking jobs from good God fearing Americans."
"Stop whining and go get your mother's urine sample you welfare brat.  I don't care if you people are the least likely to be able to afford drugs or not, I just want to make you squirm before you get your pittance."

 "Let's go beat the shit out of the people who don't want to let us parade around with our guns.  We got to do it now before they wise up and buy guns to protect themselves from us."

"You better not become dependent on my generosity you old piece of shit.  Had you taken better care of your resources when you were younger you wouldn't be in this position today grandpa."

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Yes and no: Ray Rice edition

Yes, Ray Rice did an awful thing and he should be suspended for the year.
No, he should not be banned for life from the NFL.

Yes, Stephen A. Smith is right when he says that if the NFL will have Michael Vick back then it should take Rice back after his suspension.
No, Smith did not equate women with dogs when he said that if Vick can come back then so should Price.  What he did was compare two awful things two black males did.

Yes, the NFL didn't get this disaster right when it only gave Rice a two game suspension.  But they subsequently did make the necessary changes that will make sure they get it right from now on.
No, there does not need to be mass firings at the NFL head office over this.  But there does need to some over the way they're ducking the concussion disaster.

Yes, these are my opinions.
No, I don't care if you agree with me or not.
No, at no time am I asking and nor will I ask that you adopt my opinions as your own.
And also, I don't give a shit if you stop reading this blog because my opinion clashes with yours.

Monday, September 8, 2014


 1972 was pretty much the apogee of the granny dress and floor length skirt fashion crazes.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Outdoor art from around town

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Welsh rarebit of the week

Alexandra Roach.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Good riddance

I am not one of those people who are mourning the passing of Joan Rivers.  She was a horrible woman who cloaked her bigotry and disdain for others, especially the Palestinian people, in her 'humor.' And if you dared tell her she was being awful towards others, she cry in a shrill voice, "Freedom of speech!" or "I'm just joking!"

Ugh, good riddance.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Cee Lo Green's guide to sexual assault

Hey y'all, Cee Lo Green here. I'mma help y'all out so y'all know what's sexual assault and what ain't.

If she awake when you have sex against her will with her and she remember it, that shit is rape.  If she's asleep and she don't wake up and she never finds out about it, you in the clear.  If you stick food in her instead of your penis, you ain't raped her because food ain't got no sex organs.  But if you stick food in her instead of yo dick, y'all stupid, especially if she passed out and can't remember it, because remember, it ain't rape if she don't remember it. That shit is just science y'all.

So remember, don't do it if she gonna remember and don't waste food, do your business when she's out and then eat that food.  Y'all feel me?

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Hey, what's wrong?

"I'm mad that someone pixelated the good parts of those nude Jennifer Lawrence photos that got leaked online.  But dang, she's got an Oscar winning butt, doesn't she?"

 "I'm mad Mexicans are taking all the lucrative produce picking, dish washing, and landscaping jobs from hard working Americans.  I'm also mad that Obama loves them illegal immigrants so much that he's forcing schools in the USA to teach Spanish!"

 "The general malaise of life has got me down.  Perhaps a drug or a sex addiction will help me crawl out of my depression."

 "What's wrong?  Really?  I'm in a fucking iron lung and you're asking me what's wrong.  How about fuck off.  That's what's wrong."

 "Billy's breath smells like something dead ate a horseshit pie that skunks have jizzed all over and my wife has been abducted by aliens, that's what's wrong.  Oh, and we're the only color illustration in this post."

"We have to live in a world where instead of teaching men not to rape, people blame us for dressing like sluts and drinking too much if we get raped."  

Monday, September 1, 2014

What I'm watching (HuluPLUS edition)

We got back from vacation to find that HuluPLUS had added a shit ton of new British comedies and dramas.  So we've been immersed in shows from across the pond for the past couple of weeks.

I bought the first two series of Lead Balloon on Amazon Instant but I don't have to buy the last two because they're now streaming on HuluPLUS.  This comedy is written by Jack Dee who also stars in it.  He plays Rick Spleen, a fading stand up comic who clings to any piece of showbiz that will  have him.  In addition to trying like hell to keep his career alive he has to put up with his smart ass writing partner, his successful agent girlfriend/life partner, his slacker teenage daughter and her even more slackery boyfriend, his morose odd eastern European maid, and the guy who runs the cafe down the road from his house.  Spleen is a put upon guy who takes any kind of credit he can while trying to shift the blame for any failures he generates, in short, he's the perfect sitcom subject.  These four series are near perfect, the fact they're only six episodes each is huge plus, if there had been more this show would have worn out it's welcome.  I highly recommend this one.  

 Stella is a comedy drama about a working mother in Wales.  She's got a three kids by two different guys, suitors, a pretty odd extended family, and a tiny town full of oddballs to put up with.  Ruth Jones plays Stella and she does a hell of a job of it.  I've probably written it here before but here goes again, Jones is exactly the type of actress who would never ever be allowed to anchor a show like this if this one were made in the USA, she's too overweight to suit most all American producers, but she's a knockout.  All involved with this deserve a round of applause.  It has it's melodramatic moments but it has it's laugh out loud funny moments too.  It's kind of like life in that regard.  The first three series of this show is now streaming on HuluPLUS.  Series four will be shown on British TV in 2015, so it will be awhile before it hits here.

Julia Davis is a comedy genius.  She was the brains behind the incredibly demented twistedly funny Nighty Night.  This series is a twisted retelling of Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca.  We're only two episodes in and already I can see this one is a keeper.  I will warn you, this one is grown up funny, it's not a punch to the crotch SNL catch phrase funny.  You have to have a good amount of education to appreciate the humor in this show. I can't recommend this one highly enough.

And now, because I can, I'm going to end this post with a photo of one of my pretend British comedy girlfriends, the lovely Raquel Cassidy.