Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Hello, I'm Basil Boddy, concerned citizen and dog owner. I'm here to tell you all about how gay marriage has affected people here in the tar heel state.
The day gay marriage became legal here Presbyterian minister Levon Graham married a cabbage and then he ate it. He's now in prison for killing and eating his spouse.
Women are 33 percent more sassier than they were before the gay could get married. They know they don't have to be nice to men now that they can get married to their girlfriends. And it's now a hate crime to remind them that they can only have babies with men.
Children are performing marriage ceremonies for their dolls. And they're refusing to be spanked.
We've had an influx of people wearing puffy vests and hairy boots who drive Land Rovers and want to eat in fine dining restaurants in to our state.
Cats and other animals are now demanding that they be given nicer places to take a dump and to fornicate with each other.
Straight couples are refusing to get married now because marriage is too gay for them. They're choosing to live in sin and in places like South Carolina.
Asian prostitutes are more uppity and I hear they're charging top dollar for anal sex.
So, as you can see it's been fucking great! Why did we ever wait so long to do all this stuff? North Carolina has never been this much fun!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
In no particular order:
- The Librarians
- Nighty Night
- The Alan Partridge trilogy
- Snuff Box
- The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
- Little Britain
- Father Ted
- Kath & Kim (Australian version)
- A Moody Christmas
- Dr. Terrible's House of Horrible
- The Mighty Boosh
- Free Agents (British version)
- Gavin and Stacey
- All in the Family
- Monty Python's Flying Circus
I know, I cheated a bit on number 4, lumping three series in one, but they are all linked by the main character.
DC Comics, not fun, always dumb.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Me, I'm all for Jena being in any and all DC comic book adaptions. If she's in it, then at least there's one thing to look forward to in an otherwise deadly dull film.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
"Why do you not work and contribute to our country that is most exceptional?"
"Sir, I do not work because I am reliant on the handouts I get from big government. Now leave me alone and go make your millions of dollars so that big government can tax you to pay for my bone idleness."
The tale of what happens after marriage equality:
"Come you old crone, give me that pussy cat so that I may marry it and fornicate upon it."
"No you cruel varlet, my cat is my pet, I shall keep it."
"You old bitch, you just committed a hate crime! I'm calling the Department of Justice on you!"
The tale of how Ebola is spread:
"I, President Obama's real Kenyan father, cooked up Ebola in a lab in Africa in order to bring down the country Jesus freedom loving people the world over love. I must now go to Mexico and give vials of this dread disease to my army of gay Muslim Mexican fascist Communist atheist Catholics so that they may enter the USA illegally and put this noxious poison in candy, sports drinks, and hamburgers across the land!"
The tale of the return of the fairness doctrine:
'Twas a dark day indeed when President for Life Hillary Obama Biden FDR Martin Luther King Jr McClinton brought back the fairness doctrine in all media. With one stroke of her cloven hoofed claw, she silenced Rush, Glenn, Dr. Laura, and all right wing hate talk radio and TV. She replaced it with Hopi Indian chants, whale songs, the music of Jackson Browne, and the speeches of Rachel Maddow. Now the people have no one to tell them how bad socialism, race mixing, and homosexual sex is.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
To make your toddler's boner go down, tap him on the back gently while singing Methodist hymns.
Use plenty of tongue when giving mouth to mouth in West Virginia, it's the polite thing to do.
If someone is choking on a food you like, try to suck that food out of their mouth.
Wash your eyes out after reading this stupid post. No, seriously, go wash them. And get some therapy too.